One of the hardest things to change in life is the habit many of us have of looking back and reliving and rehashing things that may have hurt us or caused us issue in the past. Not only does this bad habit affect us mentally, emotionally and physically, it affects those around us. Lately, I’ve been seeing posts from one family member on my personal Facebook feed that I know is targeted at another family member. The event that has upset the one family member happened many years ago and I know this is not only hurting the family but also the person that is posting these comments is not happy. The target of the posts is oblivious and happily living their life. My personal opinion is if you cannot speak directly to the person you have an issue with, putting it on Facebook or another social platform isn’t going to help you resolve the issue but could make it much worse.
If something happened 20 years ago why are you still worrying about it today? The job you didn’t get. You got another job. The house you didn’t get. You have a roof over your head. The ex that left you and remarried and now has kids – your stepchildren. Who are you hurting by refusing to be involved with the kids and grand kids? You are not only hurting the kids and family, you are hurting yourself by letting these issues eat you alive from the inside out.
Bitterness and anger truly takes a toll on us both mentally and physically. Until you can forgive and move on, you will continue to deal with these issues negatively and lose out on living the life you were designed to live. Here are a few things to think about when you’re feeling vulnerable:
- We all make mistakes. Let it go. If you feel you hurt someone and the person is still in your life in some way, tell them you are sorry. If they are not, you must forgive yourself and move on.
- No one likes to be around a mean or angry person. Think about it. Would you want to spend time with someone who has a perpetual chip on their shoulder? I know I wouldn’t. If you can’t let go of what you are angry about, it’s time to seek outside help.
- We are not responsible for another person’s happiness. We can’t change anyone else but ourselves so how could we possibly make someone else happy? I’ve seen this one over and over with family and friends and it never changes the miserable person’s outlook.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Choose to see the world through your own eyes. Your opinion is your opinion not anyone else – don’t give them that power over how you view the world you live in.
Less you think I’m immune to these issues – I am not. I carry with me an issue from my childhood but I steadfastly refused to let it affect the quality of my life now or in the past. When I feel anger or stress trying to come over me for any reason, I immediately stop and shake it off. I will many times head outside for a walk or to the gym to workout. Exercise is how I deal with stress in my life and I’m a happier camper because of my healthy lifestyle. I will not give anything power over my happiness and you shouldn’t either.
From me to you, today, whatever is upsetting you, let it go. Walk outside, look at the sky and say out loud “I no longer give this issue control over my life. ” You will immediately feel a weight lifted off your shoulders and will be on the way to a healthier you. You deserve to be happy.
To your health,
Denise Sanger is a high energy business owner with over 30 years experience in the marketing area. She has transitioned her love of fitness and marketing into helping others succeed in getting fit and running their own businesses. She founded How To Stay Fit Over 50 to provide hope and support to others by motivating them to take the first step in their fitness journey no matter what age. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com